Of Kitchen Knives and Hormones
by girlmachina
Summary: Sakura and Naruto can't keep their hands off of each other; reprimands and compromising positions ensue! Sakura x Naruto


I was tired of not writing anything, so I jotted this down in hopes of breaking the writer's block. I hope you enjoy! ^.^

"I have to draft a peace treaty, meet with those council bastards, and be present for the ANBU initiation ceremony. I do not have time to reprimand two Jonin for acting like hormonal fifteen-year-olds…"

Sakura flicked her eyes up to look at Tsunade and quickly brought them back to the floor.

"…And then being stupid enough to get caught."

Sakura's eyes slid to the left to see a pair of sandaled feet shift slightly. Naruto had never been this quiet before. Well, with the exception of about a half an hour ago. The kunoichi felt a blush threaten to appear.

It had started out innocently enough. Naruto had stumbled into the hospital right around Sakura's arrival for her evening shift. After quickly assessing the cuts and his inability to deliver a coherent sentence, Sakura took him straight to Operating Room 3 to get him fixed up. Naruto steadily became more aware of his situation after he was pumped with fluids and chakra; and then it just happened. Naruto was sitting on the edge of the operating table half asleep, and Sakura stepped in between his legs to check the severity of a bruise on her former teammate's shoulder. When she applied pressure to the dark purple spot, Naruto's body jolted and his legs closed around the medic. Sakura's eyes went wide with the realization of the position they were in; Naruto's face was an inch away and his eyes had come into sharp focus.

When the doors to the operating room were pushed open by a nurse followed by a surgeon and a patient on a gurney, the first thing they saw was one of the head medics with her hands tangled in the hair of one of Konoha's best ninja. And said best ninja was holding the medic close with one hand planted in the middle of her back and the other moving suspiciously closer to her rear.

Sakura looked back up and saw the Hokage leaning back in her chair with an odd mix of expression that ranged from amusement to down-right disbelief at the occurrence. Sakura moved to speak, but Tsunade interrupted her, which was a relief because Sakura wasn't sure exactly what she could possibly say that would help her case.

"The hospital kitchen is short-staffed right now and they've been at my throat demanding I provide more help..." Sakura got a mental image of men and women in aprons and hairnets crashing through Tsunade's door brandishing ladles and stainless steel pans. She bit her tongue and felt Naruto tense next to her, indicating a shared mental image. "They are going to be thrilled to hear that you two volunteered. You can start tonight."

Sakura sliced tomatoes and cucumbers with the speed and precision that was acquired after years of partaking in combat and surgical procedures. Actually cutting into the skin of the bright red tomato on the cutting board was similar to making an incision into a person's abdomen. She pictured that person as a male with bright blonde hair, and subconsciously cut deeper into the produce than she meant. She jerked the knife out of the board it was wedged into.

"You know," came a chipper voice from behind her, "If the whole ninja thing doesn't work out for you, being a chef definitely is an option."

Sakura whipped her head around to look over her shoulder at Naruto who was standing a few feet away. "The only reason this 'whole ninja thing' wouldn't work out is because I killed a fellow Jonin and was thrown in prison," she commented threateningly.

"Or if you kept getting caught in compromising positions."

A wayward fillet knife shot towards Naruto's head, and he absently caught it and set it down. He sprinkled the soup he was standing over with more salt, stirred it, and tested it. He made noises of approval. "Maybe we could open up a shop together, Sakura-chan!"

"Naruto! I refuse to work at a restaurant! This is all your fault!" She piled on lettuce and tomato onto a sandwich making it complete. "And why on earth are you wearing that ridiculous hairnet?" she said with frustration; he looked like an idiot, and Sakura did not want people to be talking about how she was making out with some goof-ball. Of course, Sakura also admitted, if you happened to glance at the rest of the ninja, then you would see he wasn't quite as silly as you might consider upon first glance. Sakura's eyes discreetly trailed down Naruto's form and was greeted with muscular arms and torso that threatened to rip through his dark blue t-shirt.

After filling up bowls with the soup he'd just finished, Naruto carried them over to Sakura's part of the kitchen and distributed them on trays that would end up in the dining area. "As a master of disguise, I pride myself in being able to fit anywhere. Hence, the hairnet." Naruto grinned at her. "I notice you have taken on the role of peasant house-wife." He gave a slight tug on the green scarf that covered pink hair.

Sakura gritted her teeth.

"It actually really works for you. You know, the house-wife bit."

Sakura grabbed Naruto's arm and twisted in around and brought him to his knees facing away from her. "House-wife? _House-wife_? Do you have a death-wish, Uzumaki?"

She didn't see the smirk on her teammate's face. He quickly did the counter move to the hold and pinned her up against the table. "A death-wish is very probable, Sakura-chan," he said inches from her face. Sakura sucked in breath, moved and ended up sinking her arm into a big bowl of dressing.

"Ugh," she cringed and yanked her arm out accidentally knocking the bowl off of the table. The vinegar- based dressing covered the kitchen floor. Sakura stared panicked at the mess, and then looked up to see Naruto's shoulders shaking and his hand covering his mouth to stifle the laughter. Sakura's face turned pink and she shoved Naruto. He quickly did the classic windmill technique in order to not slip and fall, but, as is usually the case, it didn't work and he landed on his backside.

Suddenly reverting into a younger Sakura (she seemed to be doing that a lot lately) she turned toward the swinging door and started to sprint out. "I'm telling Tsunade-sama!"

It worried her when she heard Naruto chuckle, and as she looked back to see what the source of the laughter was, what seemed like a whole drawer full of knives was sailing after her. She turned to face them and dodged as best she could. The end result was a pissed kunoichi pinned to the wall by butcher knives that had pierced her clothing and the wood behind her. The handle of one of the knives was dangerously close to her head.

"I'm going to kill you," Sakura said matter-of-factly. Sakura tried to pry her arm out of the blades' holds, but to no avail.

"What? I thought the trick was kind of cool." Naruto walked up to Sakura and pulled the knife that was near her head out of the wall.

"You could have severely injured me…"

"You have too much pride to let a kitchen knife harm you." Naruto seemed to ponder for a second. "It almost seems silly that you would allow yourself into this sort of situation, too. I wonder, Sakura, if you didn't let the knives pin your clothes?"

Sakura channeled all her rather formidable strength and pulled her body free of the knives, completely shredding her clothing. With a growl, she tackled Naruto and his body slammed onto the floor. She quickly straddled him and gripped both hands around his neck and squeezed to her heart's desire. Naruto used his own arms to the inside of her elbows so that they gave under the pressure and allowed her to collapse on him and loosen her grip. Naruto's arm snaked around her back to hold her in place and the opposite's hand grabbed the back of her head to anchor her down.

Then Sakura's hold slackened a lot, and she narrowed her eyes at the audacity of it all just before her body melted into his, and Naruto kissed her into oblivion.

One of the women a part of the kitchen's regular staff strolled in through the swinging doors wondering what the hell was taking so long with sandwiches when she stopped suddenly. There in the middle of the kitchen floor was a huge puddle of dressing and two ninjas that instead of enduring punishment, seemed to be devouring each other.

Sakura looked up to see an old woman wearing an apron and hairnet staring with surprise. Slowly, the woman began backing out of the kitchen, no doubt about to inform the Hokage. Sakura's eyes widened. "No, wait!" She scrambled to get off of Naruto and get stable footing on the slippery floor. But while Sakura was distracted, the woman scurried away.

Naruto, still lying on the floor, looked up at the ceiling. "Well, damn."

The smell of vinegar dressing overwhelmed the Hokage's office. Tsunade's eye twitched violently and she placed a finger to the side of it to cease the impulse. Sakura's face had lost its color a while ago, and she swayed a little in her tattered clothes. Tsunade was pretty sure if the girl didn't breathe soon, she would pass out. Naruto, that brat, didn't look the least bit scared. Tsunade picked up a paper weight and threw it at him. He dodged it, but he had the graciousness to look a bit more wary.

"This is a joke, right? You're trying to be funny?" The Hokage looked from subordinate to the other. "Well, in case you were wondering, the same stunt pulled twice in one day does not. Amuse me. At all." Tsunade gritted her teeth, and worked on that breathing exercise that Shizune insisted worked very well. The pen Tsunade held busted and ink got all on her hand.

Sakura suddenly wished she had finalized a will because the look Tsunade wore told Sakura that she was about to be punished for the broken pen on top of everything else.

Sakura sprayed the mirrors and wiped them down with a rag, repeating the process she had done all morning. When the mirrors looked clear enough, she turned with forlorn to face the toilets. She had sewn limbs back onto bodies and transferred hearts from corpses to a patients. Kami help her, she would never get used to cleaning toilets. She muttered every curse she could think up and directed them all toward Naruto. She hoped that her assumption was right, and that men's restrooms were much worse compared to the women's. She gulped in air and went in for the kill, deciding she would not be defeated by porcelain.

It took her longer than she wished to finish cleaning that particular bathroom and strolled through the hallway with her little cart. Her fellow ninja gave her knowing looks; some looked sympathetic. Everyone was very aware that Tsunade's wrath was very painful. She wheeled the cart out to the dumpster in order to toss the full trash bags.

She threw the garbage into the big container and mused on how exactly she had gotten herself into this situation. Naruto must have some sort of drug on him; maybe she felt deprived of male companionship. The flies buzzed around her head. Maybe she was losing her marbles. She sighed labeling herself as a hopeless case, and took her equipment back into the building. She turned a corner making her way to the elevator to get to the last bathroom. One floor up, the elevator stopped and the doors slid open to let another person on. Sakura immediately tensed when she saw it was Naruto with his cart that had to get in the elevator. Sakura moved over to one side and closed her eyes. Subconsciously, she started to breathe heavy; the air in the enclosed space was stifling.

Naruto whistled a tune softly and glanced over at Sakura. She looked like she was about to come undone. Naruto raised an eyebrow, faced her, and said, "Sakura-chan?"

Sakura's eyes few open and she jumped Naruto, immediately wrapping her legs and arms around him. She gripped him desperately and showered hot kisses all over his face. Naruto responded and turned to push her into the elevator corner and rain kisses all over her neck and exposed collar bone. Their hands searched frantically, resting on one spot and then, seemingly dissatisfied, rushed to another location. After heavy seconds, the elevator dinged and the doors slid open and dazed Sakura looked up. Three ninja stood and stared, their conversation halted. It took Sakura a second to recognize one of her close friends, Ino. The blonde girl's lips contorted into a huge grin at the sight before her. She turned and sprinted back down the hallway.

"No! Wait!" Sakura yelled. "Damn it!"

Ino's other teammates stood there looking amused. Naruto's jaw ticked and he growled in frustration. Sakura tried to get out of Naruto's hold in order to try to stop Ino from tattling. Naruto looked at her and shook his head. "Don't even think that you're getting out of this one."

The two ninja outside of the elevator heard the kunoichi squeak and blinked when the troublesome couple suddenly disappeared from the elevator in a cloud of smoke.

The personnel on the first floor was startled when the building seemed to shake, and the distinct voice of their fearless leader vibrated through walls that carried words like "whipped" and "hanged for insubordination."


End file.
